Single Fatherhood Has Its Rewards...

A never-ending mountain of laundry awaits as I descend the stairway to the basement. It seems like I should have a supply of clean clothes to last for several days, when in reality it's only about a day's worth. I begrudgingly dig my sons' nuclear undergarments out from their britches and as I mutter under my breath about them not separating them, and not getting the clothes stacked onto the proper teetering mound, I am silently reminded that I do the things I do for my sons because I love them. As God loves me unconditionally, I love them as well.

I put up with household food supplies being devoured seemingly immediately after I bring them home, utilities being consumed at record rates, dirty dishes and partially-eaten food left in all areas of teenager habitation, and property being "accidentally" destroyed. Arguments which start out as insult-hurling and ending up in wrestling matches that sound like a herd of buffalo charging through a china shop. The never ending stream of work- our house is never up to June Cleaver standards (or even my own) -and resource draining that goes on in our household sometimes seems overwhelming.


Working full-time in retail with varying shifts and few days off, and with two teenagers who both attend school and have part-time jobs, and whose work shifts are variable as well, is an uphill battle. The fight seems hopeless much of the time, especially when you see that your efforts seemingly fall largely unappreciated.

But then, as has become my habit over the last few years of being a single father, I pray to God. I hear in my head "Jeremiah 29:11": "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord; plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future"... And as always, he sends his gentle feeling of comfort and peace, and until the next time despair is allowed into my heart, I feel better. And every once in a while, when I least expect it, something wonderful and memorable happens...

Last weekend we had our seemingly annual "January Spring". It seems that over the last few years in mid-January we have a very nice day and I decide it's time to let the motorcycle stretch her legs a bit. I gear up for the ride, and head down the highway to church, 30 miles away. My sons drive separately on our day's journey, and we end up 65 miles away at my sister's house. We watch our Broncos beat the Patriots, and enjoy a wonderful dinner with my sister, niece, and great-nephew. After dinner, a card game is brought out by my niece, and my sons want to stay and play. I agree, but let them know that I need to get back before the impending cold of the night gets too severe that I can't ride without freezing my extremities. And that's when it happened.

My youngest is a tough guy, but his heart is huge. Despite his wanting to appear hard-as-nails, he's a very sweet kid who always seems to know what to say and do at the right times in life. This insightful young man, probably not knowing my frame of mind as of late, strode over to me and latched his arms around me, and proceeded with the most loving bear hug imaginable. I felt as though I actually mattered to him, and it brought reassurance to my heart. While taking me completely off-guard, that hug made my day. It reassured me that God was working behind the scenes to make everything right. I was joyful on the ride home, despite the fact that I had indeed waited too long, and the crisp night wind robbed me of feeling in most of my fingers!

Selfishness: Defined by Merriam Webster as being concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others.

I don't blog often, but I have felt compelled to blog about this issue for quite some time. I don't claim to be an expert, but I have had some experience on both sides of selfishness.

We all start out life as being selfish. Mainly because we are unable to exist any other way. Look at all creatures aside from man: All of them can be observed and perceived to be selfish. We don't describe it as "selfishness", but rather "self-preservation". Your pets find ways to communicate to you that they are hungry or need to go outside for a "break". Or maybe to get you to the cupboard to get them their regular "treat".

As parents, we allow our children to grow up in the same way. Babies let you know when they're hungry, in pain, or that they have a "full load". As they grow and mature, we never stop their reliance on us. We feel like we need to do their laundry, cook their food, do ALL of the chores around the home so that they don't have things as "bad" as we had it growing up. My parents did this too, although I was made to do some chores. My mother made sure we all had meals and clean clothes and home.

As we mature I have observed that in American society we no longer require our youth to grow out of their selfishness into "self reliance". We are forever being chided with: "Oh they're just kids! Let them be!" Or: "We did that when we were kids and we turned out alright!" Seriously? Did we? My doubts grow deeper as time goes on.

Our society is one of entitlement now. We are entitled to certain benefits. We seem to believe that we are not only entitled to them, but are entitled to them without putting forth any effort. Look at our current "welfare state" that we are perpetuating at an alarming rate!

But while the social aspects are a reflection, they are not the core of our selfishness. Our selfishness comes from any number of places. I am a Christian, so I see selfishness in society as a reflection of our turning away from God.

Man marvels at his discoveries in science. He is proud of himself. Man also prides himself on his "self preservation" which rapidly turns to greed and selfishness. Is cancer incurable? I believe it is curable! I also believe that any doctor who runs an oncology clinic doling out $5000 bags of "chemo therapy" drugs will tell you it is not. Just different types of treatment for the symptoms in an effort to prolong life.

When science and finance meet, you generally have corruption and greed. Look at how much money was generated off of A.I.D.S. Look how much money is generated off of cancer. Look at how much money is generated off of any human affliction, and you'll see that although man is great at finding "treatments", and is phenomenal at finding new advances in electronics and mechanics, no CURE is ever found. Officially.

But I digress from my original intention for this blog...

Selfishness is a disease afflicting our world. It runs EVERYTHING. We are driven by selfish desires.

In my own life, I see just how selfish I am. I see that most everything I do has a motivation behind it that I may not even be aware of. Sometimes I even disguise my motivation so that others won't see just how selfish I am. I can talk of others' selfishness, but that would be selfish of me.

I pray to God that he continues to change my heart to one of giving and selflessness, so that my sons will have the best father possible, and the best example to follow! Please pray for our family...

Waste: Time, Money, Resources...

Both sides of the political viewpoints on health care have put advertisements on television, in printed media, and even in health care centers!! One side spouts that it will cost trillions of dollars to implement and maintain, and that the quality of care will go down. The other side states that we have to make it fair for all Americans and the people that cannot provide for themselves should be suckled by the government... HOW MUCH MONEY HAVE THOSE ADS COST THE TAX PAYERS??????

Don't get me wrong, I am NOT for a government-sponsored ANYTHING!! This country was founded by people who decided to "do for themselves", and I believe that should still be the American goal. Let those who want to be taken care of by the government go to Canada or Europe. In fact, I'm in favor of our government "taking care" of these people by providing free transportation to these places where they will be so lovingly taken in!! No doubt our crime rate will decrease with their exodus! But that's another subject...

One thing that NONE of the politicians on either side of the issue ever point out is the amount of money they spend trying to get their point across to the ignorant masses!! Does anyone point out how much money Obama spent carting his wife to New York for a "date"? The cost was phenomenal!!! Now he is traveling across the United States spreading propaganda regarding his Obamacare plan. If he were truly the humanitarian he claims to be, instead of the narcissist he is, he would take that traveling money and put it back in the budget!! I would be willing to bet that money would go a long way to eliminating our budget deficit!! He and his cronies could take all of the American tax payers' money they waste traveling home on the weekends and donate it back into the pot at the very least!! I would venture to guess that our deficit would be reduced by a very large percentage!! They are wealthy people and can afford to provide their OWN travel expenses!! I work for a local government, and drive a vehicle owned by them for work. Now it would be really nice if I could use that vehicle instead of my very old dilapidated vehicle for personal use. But I would be terminated if I did!

With cancer being the REAL epidemic (not the H1N1 "practice epidemic"), and the costs associated with it being a huge amount of the health care expense pie, why don't we put the F.D.A. on notice that homeopathic remedies will be examined and accepted as part of a treatment package. The F.D.A. forces drug companies to spend HUGE amounts of money "approving" their chemicals for human use. So the government in essence is forcing prescription drug prices through the roof, making them the SOURCE of one of the problems with our current health care system. The manufacturers of the homeopathic or organic remedies cannot compete financially and thus cannot proclaim the benefits of their products under penalty of federal law. This approval process takes a huge amount of time also, another area of waste! I'm not sure we need the F.D.A. to dictate what we can and cannot consume for medicinal purposes. This last sentence can spark another debate which I am not willing to pursue at this time...

My WHOLE point to this rant is, why not examine where the TRUE waste in our governmental system is? People don't want to think about these issues and most continue to keep their heads buried deep in the sand. I think we could eliminate a huge amount of government waste just by staying out of areas that are not for the government to participate in i.e. private industry! Let those poorly-run businesses fail! America can survive their failure! Adversity is in some instances a good thing!!

Adversity is coming to ALL of America via the Socialist machine we are implementing at the hands of the ignorant... Wake up people. What I've said here isn't even a drop in the bucket regarding the issues we face. Until the American people wake up and take action, they will continue that gradual decline and ultimately be swallowed by that Socialist machine...

Back to school... YES!!!

Every summer starts out as a grind it seems... Kids getting out of school and now some of us are faced with: "What do we do with them?". Go to the pool, go fishing, go camping, go on vacation, etc... But then the attitude sets in. The incessant whining. They're bored. If you would ask them at the beginning of summer on through the second month, they're not ready for school to start. But as the third month wears on, they get more and more anxious to rejoin their classmates and start another year of learning. New shoes, clothing, school supplies, and earlier bedtimes supplement the anxiousness.

Over the years I've grown to dread summer. The heat, the bugs, trying to deal with my two rambunctious boys in an effort to keep them from robbing me of my precious sleep. But this year it wasn't too bad. The heat wasn't as bad as it could've been. I STILL hated the bugs, and the boys were still pretty inconsiderate of my sleep patterns (I work rotating shifts every month), but overall the summer was very enjoyable. We were able to take some time to enjoy ourselves as a family and also to accomplish some goals.

So as the summer of 2009 wanes and I am exceedingly anxious for school to begin, I look back and find that I have truly enjoyed summer this year. Something that hasn't happened in many years. I'm thankful that the Lord has allowed us all to stay healthy and happy and has provided us MANY blessings this year. My favorite season is fast approaching and I am excited!